Improve Your Relationship in 10 Hours a Week

Entering a relationship is one of the most exciting things – you’re endlessly learning about someone else, and getting to share parts of you with them, too.

But then life happens: we get busy. Work picks up, you have to keep your friends and family in your life, and maybe you and your partner start a family of your own.

As time goes on, it becomes more challenging to prioritize the relationship with your partner among all the other things you have to do.

But your relationship with your partner is the most important. You and your partner are there to support each other through all of life’s challenges.

When life gets busy, you can set aside intentional time to improve your relationship in just 10 hours per week. Here are some things to keep in mind:

  • Relationships take work. Be intentional about the effort you put into the relationship if you want to preserve your relationship, family, or marriage.

  • Quality over quantity. Good relationships don’t require all the time in the world. If you have a limited amount of time or energy, focus on being present with your partner for small amounts of time first.

  • Be consistent. Instead of expecting you or your partner to change overnight, commit to consistency.

If you feel overwhelmed by where your relationship is currently, try to focus on putting your best energy into these following ways to improve your relationship.

Schedule 10 hours per week with your partner to do the following:

  1. Date night. Schedule a date night where you spend at least two, uninterrupted hours with your partner. Sharing quality time together gives you both something to look forward to.

    • Cook dinner together, or just enjoy a movie on the couch. Get creative! Try new dates from time to time.
  1. Morning routine. Take five minutes every morning to focus on each other. Ask what is lined up for the day, any special arrangements that need to be made, or simply sit with each other. When you do this daily, it’s only 35 minutes of the entire week!
  1. Weekly relationship meeting. Not to be confused with date night, this is an hour or hour and a half meeting to talk about the relationship. This is an easy-to-implement meeting perfect for people with busy schedules.

    • Start with a weekly check-in, and then move onto any unresolved issues.

    • Ask about how you can support each other in the upcoming week.

    • Share something your partner does that makes you feel loved, so that they can do more of it.
  1. Surprise and delight your partner. Some people feel most loved when you do something out of the ordinary for them. Think about acts that will bring a smile to their face, like preparing their favorite dish or buying their favorite chocolate bar!

  2. Express physical affection. Carve at least 15 minutes of your day to be physically affectionate with your partner. 15 minutes is the bare minimum and includes hugging, touching and cuddling.

  3. Appreciation. Write your partner a note, or express your appreciation verbally. The best compliments are specific. Be specific about what you appreciate about your partner.

    • Send a text to your partner stating your appreciation for something specific.

    • Leave a handwritten note thanking your partner for something they did for you

    • Look into your partner’s eyes and tell them what you appreciate about them.
  1. Touch base. Keep an open line of communication with your partner. Touch base when you get home from work, being gone for a while, etc.

By taking these ten hours to improve your relationship each week, you’re creating a space where you can both share your biggest fears and underlying needs with each other.

You’re putting in the effort to learn and understand each other, show affection, and have a happy relationship.

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