Five Common Misconceptions That Are Costing You a Happy Marriage

Misconceptions can cause you to have an unrealistic view of yourself and your world. When you desire things that will never happen you can miss out on significant moments and opportunities.

You can easily have unrealistic expectations of your spouse which may cause you both to be unhappy.

Are you holding on to some common misconceptions about marriage? They could cost you a happy married life, but they don’t have to.

In this article we will discuss five of these misconceptions as well as a healthier way to view your marriage that will lead to success.

Consider these five misconceptions about marriage:

1. You need to have everything in common with your spouse. The key to a successful marriage is not dependent on your spouse being more like you, wanting the same things you want, liking the same things you like, thinking the same way you think, and having the same love language.
   
   
   • It’s a natural desire to have that, but that kind of relationship would be a little boring, and there would be little opportunity to learn from each other. It undervalues the purpose and pleasure of being different.
     
     
   • Even if you marry someone you like, there is no guarantee that those similarities won’t change. Some of the most exciting marriages are between two individuals who complement each other with unique opinions and differences.
     
     
   • Learn to celebrate your differences. Support, encourage, and build on your unique interests, talents, and gifts.

2. Your partner should be able to read your mind. Your partner cannot read your mind. No one can. If you measure love based on your partner’s ability always to determine what you need, you will not be happy. Communication is important. Be patient and explain what you want to your spouse.
   
   
   • Imagine being mad at your partner and giving them the silent treatment or ignoring them because they didn’t do something you didn’t communicate with them. That would ruin your marriage. Good communication about your feelings and needs will help your spouse be a better partner.

3. Happy couples never argue. Some people spend most of their married lives being scared to argue with their mate. Suffering in silence doesn’t make your aggravation go away. Instead, it builds up inside of you, gradually deepening your resentment and pulling you further apart.
   
   
   • Arguments are bound to occur. You are both imperfect. In marriage, you get to witness each other’s mistakes firsthand. Willingly acknowledge conflict or unhappiness. It’s how you learn to forgive and move on. Problems get easier the more you work at them.
     
     
   • In addition, having a disagreement about something or discussing a conflict does not mean that your marriage is in bad shape. In fact, being able to talk about issues before they become deep problems can help spare bigger and messier fights in the future.

4. Marriage will change your partner. When you decide to spend the rest of your life with someone, you choose that person. You know what they are like, and what you see is what you get. If the person is inconsiderate, jealous, or sloppy as a boyfriend or girlfriend, marriage won’t change them.
   
   
   • A person’s character or traits do not automatically change with marriage. Istead of trying to make them into the person you want them to be, start focusing on helping them become the best version of the person they are now.

5. You’re more likely to stay together if you forgo marriage and cohabitate. Some people believe that living together is a better option than marriage, but the truth is people who live together are less likely to stay together than those who get married. Part of the reason is that marriage shows that you’ve chosen to commit to that person for life.
   
   
   • Commitment motivates you to endure the difficulties, the good times and bad, sickness and health, and to find joy in making things work. In marriage, there is no thought of jumping ship. You do what you have to do to work through your problems. Marriage offers security that cohabitation often can’t.

Marriage as an institution seems to be on the decline. It is not unusual to feel affected by trends and polls and the actions of others in their marriages. Many believe marriage and children are luxuries they cannot afford.

Despite what you see or think about marriage, remember this important fact: you and your spouse determine what your marriage is. You have the power and opportunity to achieve a truly great marriage.

By being more deliberate and strategic and less susceptible to misconceptions, you can gradually and steadily improve your marriage.